Wednesday, May 19, 2010

One last time... and for the record.

"Always forgive your enemies... nothing annoys them so much."
Oscar Wilde



This is for clarification, as my last blog involving Gabi was emotional.

I dont like being called a liar, when I was younger people would ask me where my dad was. I would tell them he had killed himself, and they would call me a liar. I know why I hate being called a liar, and now I can deal with it better. I still get emotional about it, and it brings back some pretty painful memories.

Okay so... for the last time.
I was never paid in full by Gabi. I wrote in a thread, containing pictures of me that I was not paid in full for, that I was never paid.

The site, bbwclubs.com, asked for proof from Gabi.

She posted my contract with her, from way back in October. It included my personal email, phone number, legal name and signature... oh and my home address. Not once... but twice.
You can click on these pictures to read what they say, and yes I did blur out my personal information.

Gabi is going to stick around bbwclubs.com because she pays them, and works for them. They are her webmasters. When I asked to have her removed they told me she lacked judgment, and made a mistake- this has happened before. They suggested I seek a civil suit against her.

During this time I had many phone calls, and some where threatening in manner. A woman named Sammie helped me by letting me know where my personal info had been leaked.

I immediately called the police, and immediately put a flag on my Social Security number and my accounts... everything.

The police asked me about last October, when I had called the police on Gabi. I no longer wanted to work for her, as she owed me money * she owed me at least 50 bucks.* and kept calling me to harass me at all hours. I told them back in October I felt threatened and they saw one text from her, where she threatened to post my personal info online- because I refused to talk to her.
I was sick of being harassed, and I wanted to make more then 25 bucks a set.

The police told me and her back in October to leave each other alone, and due to the contract it was a civil suit at that point. She had some of her models send me messages about how if I apologize, Gabi might let me work for her again. I was angry, and made a poor choice to repsond in a thread about me, with my pictures I was never paid for.

I do not have seller's remorse. I was never paid in full, so technically I gave her the permission to use my pictures without compensation. I know I signed a contract, I am saying I was never paid in full.

I wrote my blog to explain to people that Gabi threatened to do exactly what she did.
I wanted people to know that webmasters are willing to do whatever site owners ask.
Also, so people knew this was not the only time something like this has happened.

I had a personal vendetta against Gabi, at that point. I wanted her to feel as hurt and sad and alone and scared as I was feeling. I do not like her. I hung out with her 3 times and each time I kept looking at the clock. She ripped me off, and fucked me over.

Even after all that I still wished her no harm, after I vented in my blogs. I let the emotions out, and yes it was public. I wanted those people who have been taken advantage of know that I was as being screwed by her... and they were not alone.

She is not a great person. She went on vacation, and then came back complaining about needing money. She is so business driven she never apologized for posting my personal info online. She just calls me a liar, crazy and tells people I exaggerate.
She also has no proof of anything... and says that people believe me because I am pretty.

Just like she didn't write that blog... someone got to see my pictures for free, and wrote that for her. I know her, I have read everything she has written... she can not write like that.

Even after insulting me, after ripping me off... after failing to apologize... I still stood up for her.


I have never allowed anyone to post it on fantasyfeeder. I am a moderator there, and to let that happen... to let people bully her there would not be right. I threw away a few threads, and had to post this several times in the mod-forum.
I also moderate pictures, and every time she posts a new picture or video I would make sure no one is posting mean things about her... every time. I leave comments like... "Gabi gets low rating because girls are jealous..." I delete ones that say " you really fucked over amatrix."

I never linked my blog to anything. I said people had the right to re-post that and let other models know this has happened. I did link it to my personal facebook, and that is how I ended up with over 5 screenshots. This has happened before, and will probably continue to happen.

That is how I learned to crack the code and see it for myself. A friend on facebook, who is a computer guru- proved to me, in real time... that anything uploaded to the internet can eventually be accessed.

And anything can be passed around. I am not computer savy... I can edit pictures, and do basic html. I know people can send and spread things around... via 4chan, emails, and message boards. I had never heard of bbwclubs.com until people told me Gabi was posting pictures and things about me there. I think someone saw my personal information, did screen shots and it was passed around some. I dont have many enemies in the community, but I do know there are some sick people- mentally. I know there are at least 3 people who would pay to know where I live- for real. Stalkers happen in this business.

And even when she asks mutual friends for money... I still wish her no harm.
I might have said some mean things in my blog. I do know Gabi is an ugly person, inside and out. That is my opinion. I never asked people to harass her, and I never linked my blog to anything but a few friends on facebook. I also sent out mass IMs on yahoo about my blog, which I do once in awhile. this blog isn't just about her... I started it in hope I could talk about makeup. This is my blog, and it is about my life. I will continue to share bits of my life.

I never posted my blog on sites like fantasyfeeder, or dimensions, or curvage. Other people took it upon themselves to do that, and when I could I removed the content. I do not police every site though, and am not responsible for what other sites do.

To the persons who tell her to lose weight, or to die in a fire... shame on you.

They are, however, entitled to their opinion. When you post pictures on the internet, or anything really- you are putting it out there for people to comment on.

I am not sorry for talking shit about Gabi. If I were face to face with her I would do the same thing. I am not afraid of her. She took something from me.

I ended up being punished for my good deed. I had to pay for things to be fixed, or babysat on myside. I had to moderate fantasyfeeder more. People see how petty I can be. I was losing business, but now am back on track.

I had to explain certain things like having a stalker when I was 15, and that I hate being called a liar.

I have learned to make sure when you work with someone you dont really trust... get everything in writing. Get the payments marked out clear, and cut ties with those who fall behind in payments. Do not bend over backwards to help someone out. Do not sign anything that might leave an open loop. Keep records.

The biggest thing I have learned comes in 2 parts... when the kid in the back of the class eats paste and says he has a belly ache- there is no need to point out he ate paste. What I mean by that is- Gabi is not liked by many, at all. Some people really didn't need more reasons to dislike her...basically most people now think poorly of me for making fun of the retard. Sometimes you do it... you make fun of someone... but to continually point out all flaws in someone is so tiring and lame. It is like saying, "that is what she said..." after each sentence.

It was shocking she would do this... not once but twice. I had so much help... from my lawyer who explained I could take her to civil court, if she has a permanent address... to the private investigator who explained what she did was like writing a phone number in a bathroom stall. And even my personal friend, who helped me with cracking codes, and the guy on the phone who explained that I needed to babysit my credit.

So, no I dont feel bad that she had to delete her real facebook because I posted her first and last name.
NO, I dont feel bad she has gotten some hateful e-mail, comments and remarks.
No, I dont feel bad for asking for an apology. My life was literally in danger, and all she did was insult me further.

I saw how many people were willing to help me, with screen shots and removing all the posts with my personal information. I was excited to make new friends, even if we were bonding over the fact that the same person took advantage of us.
I am not sorry for anything, really...

I forgave her, and I let her drag me back into it... That I am sorry about. I should not have been so emotional about being called a liar.

I am sorry I let this affect my personal relationships with my friends, and family. I am sorry I let this affect my relationship with my boyfriend, and I am sorry I let this affect me at my regular job.
I am sorry for the drama, and for trying to call out someone who everyone dislikes anyways.


Now, I no longer know a Gabi, or Ingrid. I no longer have any idea about this situation. I am done, and free from it.I am over it and I have moved on... and no amount of refusing to apologize, or name calling will get be back into it. I made a promise, to myself... and I am done.


Love and Light
Sugar and Spite...
Amatrix


"Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head."
-- Ann Landers

3 comments:

  1. If I had to give a quick capsule remark on how you're a better human being than that lump, I'd say it's because you don't let people poo on you for money.

    Glad to have you back, happy chick :) Now how 'bout that make-up?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ahahaha, Oh Matt.
    <3 your face.

    ReplyDelete